It’s rather strange how certain emails can trigger a thought or two. As many of you know I am a police chaplain for a local agency. So that means I am on the city email. An email was sent out to the PD requesting time cards be completed and sent in by Friday. Well it got me thinking… If we filled out a time card for our marriage what might it look like? You know any OT or maybe it was a short week. Called out sick or perhaps took a few vacation days. Sure you can justify what’s on your time card? How much time is spent working on our marriages?
Realizing only too well… Time continues to fly by and there is no slowing it down! Sit for a moment and reflect on the time and effort spent on making your marriage stronger… Perhaps better or even just more fun. So if we review our time cards what input might our spouses give? Some may say you definitely did not put any OT in. Another may elude to you being on vacation. If you have the guts to discuss your time with each other, I bet it will be very interesting.
Some areas that are worth reviewing on our marriage time card may include; time spent on grooming. Sounds rather funny… But think about it… When you dated one another you showered, put on your best threads and good smelling stuff. Now you don’t shower, your clothes are tattered and you take little time to make your outer self beautiful. The only smelly stuff is you. Why would you not give one another your best? Just because you are married doesn’t mean you stop dating and pursuing one another.
There’s that section on your time card for how much quality time was spent with each other. Many may have a blank. Time spent together with no cell phone, Facebook or fill in the blank (TV)… Time invested in just the two of you. Scary thought for some. Do you remember being with your spouse, nothing was going to get in your way of talking with each other… For hours… About your dreams and desires for your future… You used to spend time complementing and wooing your bride… Have you become that couple on a date where both of you are on your phones? You know what I am talking about. We have all seen those couples…
How about the section that is for affection. Not the deed rather a gentle touch or hug or a big ‘ol kiss. Dating… you were like “paws gone wild.” You just had to hold each other. Check it out and see if you have lost that ability… By simply hugging or holding hands for two minutes without laughing or saying that is enough. Our partners touch is so good for the soul. Hey it just might lead to something more. Never underestimate the importance of connecting thru touch. Instead of no time on your card wouldn’t be nice to fill in time spent in the affection category?
Then there is that section of just doing acts of service for one another. Something as simple as making coffee or a cup of tea for the other. Making the bed… It can be the smallest task that means so much to your partner.
Then there is the section for business time, intimacy. Sometimes… Just being close and connected to one another. I am all for the glue that holds a couple together but it involves so much more. Take time to fulfill the physical desire you have for each other. God created sex for our pleasure. I do not want to fall short in that opportunity.
We are privileged to have our spouses so let’s start showing it. Let your partner know how you feel. Take time to date each other. Continue or rediscover why you fell in love with your spouse. Your married with all the benefits and privileges God has intended for us a married couple. Rekindle that flame that may have grown a bit dimmer. It takes effort sure but, the payoff is huge.
May your time cards be filled with OT and your columns filled with time discovering your spouse as you discover one another in a new and exciting way. I know life can consume us sometimes… But, that is why we have to “CHOOSE MARRIAGE.” Don’t be afraid to honor one another. Love deeper, hope more and pursue without growing tired.
You have made my heart beat faster,
my sister, my bride;
You have made my heart beat faster
with a single glance of your eyes
(Song of Solomon 4:9a)
Pastor Scott & Shannon White