All of us have been confronted with people asking for spare change or perhaps they are standing on the off ramps of the freeway holding their signs. I am in no position to pass judgement but, it got me thinking…
That request or signs are a barometer of where many marriages are today. No, I am not losing it! Think for a moment… Many times you give money out of guilt or maybe a sincere heart. When was the last time you opened up your wallet and emptied out to those asking for your spare change? You see… We often give our partners our spare change… What’s left over after a long day at work… What we can squeeze in between our children’s activities… It is quick, relieves guilt and we are able to move on. For the spouse who gets the spare change they (we) sometimes feel cheated… But, something is better than nothing… Right?? The big question is why don’t you expect your spouse to open their heart and give their all? You don’t because you have learned to settle for less, so you won’t be disappointed.
What if you had a discussion with your beloved and told them, from this day on I will not settle for spare change. I simply want “All” of you! We get side tracked, time moves on and we look back wondering what happened? What happened is… Your sign still reads “Got Spare Change?” Take that sign down! Make a new one… writing exactly what you need and expect. You agreed to cherish your spouse, you agreed to love them through thick and thin, wait those were my vows. You know what I mean… Right?
It is time to look at one another with that wonderment you had when you first got married. I do not just want a part of my bride! I want all of her! Flaws included… At times, I am the chump change by how I treat her. That is not what God intended. He intended for us to be madly in love with our partners. God did not bring you together to settle for spare change. No way! He brought you together to thrive. To love each other, to cherish one another, to be an example of what a Christian marriage looks like. We live in a world that continues to settle for spare change, let’s not allow that into our marriages.
Resolve yourself to fall in love with your spouse again and again. Tell her that you love her… Show her in the things you do for her… In the way you hold her hand… There is still so much to learn about one another… Don’t waste that precious time on spare change. Take the time to discover something you never knew about one another. I remember when I shared with Shannon something so dear to me. It was something not many people knew about. There was a time I wanted to go to clown school. Despite all the success in sports that was always a desire of mine. Did it bring world peace by telling her? No but, it was a part of me that was important. What is it about you that your partner has not discovered? It can be something deeply intimate or goofy like mine. My spare change will go in my piggy bank not my bride. Because she deserves much more than my spare change.
“The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:23-25 NASB)
Pastor Scott & Shannon White